I did something, shaved my head, not completely, but pretty short. My long curly hair has always defined me, or at least I thought. Hiding my insecurities behind my hair was normal for me. Overweight? Bloated? Inflamed? Old? Single? etc etc, at least I had my long curly hair. But it was not always like that. When I was young, I lamented not having straight hair like my mom and sister, I had my father’s curl pattern and he even rocked an afro in the ’70s. In school, they bullied me because of my hair, they told me I had “Pelo malo” … bad hair.. in my 20’s I embraced my curls again, but when I entered the corporate world I started straightening it because it was more “appropriate” for the job. Since I was a teenager, signs of my hair falling out started. I also had other symptoms of various illnesses but it was never confirmed or denied. Adolescent arthritis and Lupus are a couple of things my doctors told me I had. Then in my 30’s, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. My battle with body pain was a new normal for me…living with pain and still rising (literally) was my motto. Another symptom I have is psoriasis and a very extreme one in my hands, the reason I shifted my art practice to natural pigments, I’m a messy painter.
Last month I went to my doctors, the verdict was Autoimmune Disease. My body was hurting, I could barely do “normal” tasks. Not even mention painting for long periods or doing big brushstrokes or work big scale. My hair started falling out more than ever, and I was getting depressed just to watch it fall. It was my security blanket, I even used it as fidgeting when I was anxious.
Hashimoto, Fibromyalgia, Psoriatic Arthritis, PCOS, ...I have them… and because they are autoimmune related, the doctor prescribed me a very strong medicine that made my hair fall out more. So it was time to say goodbye to my attachment and get that buzzed cut. I did it and felt great and with a new sense of perspective. I’m letting go. letting go of what others will say, of my looks and my insecurities.
Autoimmune diseases are like a silent epidemic. Statistics vary depending on which autoimmune diseases are included. Somewhere between 23.5 million to 50 million Americans or about one in six people live and cope with autoimmune diseases according to the American Autoimmune Related Diseases Association. The National Institute of Health reports 75 percent of those people are women and has officially designated it a major women’s health issue.
A recent study finds that people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may be at a higher risk of developing autoimmune diseases. This study supports a growing body of research that suggests a link exists between trauma and physical health. At this time, the available research does not indicate that stress causes autoimmune diseases, but rather that it raises the likelihood of developing one.
With all that said, I’m making changes for my body and mind. I’m doing autoimmune protocol diet, meditating, which is breathwork, repeating my intentions, listening to good music and I’m more conscious of what I let in. Detox of Social Media and Media in general is my new normal. For me to be able to battle this in the time of a Pandemia, elections approaching, worldwide awakening, social justice era, is to take care 100% of my mind and soul. As a hypersensitive and empath person, those steps are crucial. I’m also reconnecting with my spirituality, not a religion, but pure spirituality, going out to nature, walking barefoot in the grass, driving 1 hour to the beach and creating art with no pressure . Reconnecting with the Sheila I knew before things got weird, burning that incense like a college girl that sold art at cultural events and did her necklaces from beads foraged from seeds in nature. I am that girl, she still here. I feel better and I know I will get better. So if you are a woman and you have an autoimmune disease, just know that you are not alone, and things will improve..they really will.
Thanks for reading!!!Thanks for reading!!!
